Not that guy on tv

I have been learning a lot lately.

Through methods I would have deemed unnecessary.

But God has a way of doing things that surprise me.

Know what I am talking about?

Of course you do.

So here is what I have been learning:

“I am me”

Weird thought right?

But let me unpack it for a second.

I a

m graduating college in May, and that is crazy.

I always am comparing my life to others that have gone before me.

Like, “Oh, this happened to this guy, so that must be whats in store for me.”

Or, “This person got my degree, and this is what they are doing… so why not me?”

Its almost as if I am waiting for all the right things to happen

That I may be like _______ or do _______.

Its weird right?

But we all do it.

This constant comparison of ourselves to what others have gone through.

It can even carry deeper than that, to the level of lets say… mistakes.

For instance, “My parents did that, I have no hope…

if they can’t stand up under the pressure, I won’t be able to…

if they can’t have a good marriage why would I be able to…

If they can’t hold down a job why should I be able to…

If they can’t break the alcoholism I won’t be able to resist alcohol…

Or even

I will never be able to live up to what they have accomplished…

He has done so much...

She has raised an amazing family…

I’ll never be able to do that…

Am I hitting home here?

Here is the thing I want you to take away.

These comparisons always result in fear.

Fear cripples.

Fear hinders.

Fear destroys.

Fear prevents good things.

Really good things.

This is a very elementary thought

But we all forget it.

You are not your parents

You are not your brother

You are not your friends parents

You are not that guy on tv

that girl on tv

You are not the character from the movie you saw last night

Last month

You are simply you.

“For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mothers womb”

-Psalm 139:13

I love the language David uses here in this Psalm.

Knitting us together

Now, God is not an old lady in a yarn shop with knitting needles…

however I think the point here I think

Is that there is an intricacy.

A purpose here.

God knit you together with a distinct purpose.

Not your mothers purpose

Your purpose

We are all called to walk the path to God,

The narrow path as Matthew 7:3 suggests

(to read a great blog on this passage by my good friend Cory click here)

Same path.

Different travelers.

I think our purpose is found when we realize th

at we are ourselves.

My purpose is found in being Collin.

God has given me specific giftings, abilities, and passions that are for me.

Not you.

And you have specific giftings, abilities, and passions that are for you.

Not me.

God has put you where you are for a distinct reason.

You are not to be held captive by your fears.

If only we understood the damage fear does to us.

Because really we make the decisions that shape our future.

If you are scared of ending up in a dead boring job that you hate

Well then don’t decide to work there.

And if you are in a place you are hating

Quit.

Don’t be held back because of fear.

Fear will prevent you from so many good things

.

That I will promise you.

Fear is the enemy of the Gospel

Fear is the enemy of us becoming who God made us to be

Fear is the enemy of our generation

Fear is the enemy

Fear

is

the

enemy

“No, in all these things

we are

more than conquerors

through him who loved us”

-Romans 8:37

Heart and Soul

So here I am in Charleston, SC. Its dark, we arrived around 9 ish to Stephen and Laurie's place. There is just something about arriving at night to a place you have never been to before, and when you wake up its just an awesome feeling, maybe I'm just weird...

There are 8 of us that went.

A pretty stinking awesome group! We are up here to help out a church called River Church.

For those of you who don't know Stephen and Laurie, you really are missing out! They are some of the coolest people I have ever met. Not to mention Stephen by far has the manliest beard I have ever seen.

It just reeks of manhood.

They have four little girls, Charity, Sarah, Chloe, and Hosannah.

Joseph and I spent about forty five minutes on their trampoline tonight with them, they kept talking as if they were my brain. Telling me to do all kinds of things. We also spent about 15 minutes coming up with different alien names. Some of them were...

Fungus Face

Hookie goohoka

Protoevangelion (this is what happens when you are a theology geek's child...)

Yo Momma

Leafakiki

and many more...

Their names changed about... every 6 seconds.

It was one time where I just zoom out and take a google earth perspective on life, and think

Man, life is good.

Although, I have a lot of homework to do this weekend I still came.

While they are out changing the world, I will be writing a paper in a coffee shop down the street.

Awesome.

Tomorrow is gonna be a good day though. I love the people I am with.

Something I have been learning lately is friends really change everything.

Life is never meant to be lived alone, it is best when shared (thanks Chris McCandless).

The guys I have spent the past 2-4 years of my life with are probably some of my best friends in the world. I am reminded of 1st Samuel 14 where Jonathan's armor bearer says to Jonathan

"I am with you heart and soul"

Thats the essence of brotherhood.

And I have been blessed beyond belief throughout my life with men that have been with me heart and soul, and for that I am eternally grateful.

We have walked through a lot of stuff together, I would not have made it through this past season if it wasn't for the men around me. I know they would say the same.

Reminds me of the mini series Band of Brothers. Those guys fought together, laughed together, died together.

Something about that just makes me wanna...

Yea... its good.

So here we are in Charleston, sitting in the living room its 12:28 AM saying the stories we have all heard and experienced a gajillion times laughing harder each time, when we should be sleeping since we are getting up in 7 hours. Yet, God is here. God rejoices in this, I know He does.

Friends.

Brothers.

Sisters.

Heart and Soul.

Yea.

God's Mistake

So, it seems to be as of late that my life has been chock full of relationship stuff. A little bit in my own life, but more in other people’s lives.

I love it.

God has called us to be in relationship with each other, and its through that which God’s love is fully expressed. Although I could go on and on about this, I do not want to, I want to focus on something else in this blog.

I want to focus on a “pre-Eve” or “pre-woman” time in the history of this world as we know it.

I am withholding all jokes.

I want to focus on “the hunt” the hunt for a perfect helper. And here’s the question:

“Why did God place Adam in the garden alone to begin with?”

Since God is all knowing wouldn’t it make sense that He would know that it is bad for man to be alone?

Maybe He just forgot that man needed woman?

Or.

Maybe, just maybe he wanted to teach Adam something that could only be taught in solitude…

God placed Adam in the garden in solitude, with the responsibility of maintaining the Garden (Genesis 2:15). He placed Him alone. There is something about being alone that teaches us about relating to God that nothing else can compare to.

When you are alone.

You really find out what you are made of.

You find out what you believe in.

What you trust in.

Who you trust in.

Its in solitude where God forms the inner parts of your being.

Your character.

Emotions.

Thoughts.

Are refined.

But then there is this. Adam is alone. Always has been. He has never seen another human being, let alone a woman. All he sees is animals. Being together.

Dogs

Giraffes

Elephants

Squirrels

Moose

Encouraging.

So why create the animals before the best created being of all time? God says this, “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)

He then brings the animals in front of Adam so Adam could name them.

But why?

Is this a representation of God’s “accident” of not creating a helper for Adam? And Him trying to cover for that accident?

“Here Adam, here’s a zebra.”

“….oh, that doesn’t work does it?”

“… a camel…?

“…no”

NO! Thats not it. I don’t think God is trying to match Adam with an animal to be his helper.

God knew what it was like to be in perfect community because He is part of the Trinity. He knows that a panther is not a good fit for a helper for Adam. God is refining Adam.

The animals were brought to be named, yes. But they were also brought before him to bring a yearning inside of Him for Eve. A helper. Adam had to realize that the future Eve would be a perfect fit. He had to realize that it is not good for Him to be alone.

Its different for God to know something about us. Then it is for us to know the same truth about us.

God knew that it wasn’t good for man to be alone, but Adam did not know that yet.

The delay in Eve’s arrival shows Adam the perfectness of Eve for Adam. Because he knew the importance of a helper.

I love how God takes from Adam to build what is missing.

His wholeness.

So, for those of you in solitude. Keep pressing in. Keep going. God is doing an unseen work inside of you that will only be able to be seen in hindsight. Go forward in light of this. He is forming who you are.

For those of you who are married. What a blessing!

Men.

You have a wife.

That perfect helper.

Love her with everything you got. In fact, I challenge you.

Pick up the phone.

Call her.

Tell her you love her.

Thank her for being who she is.

Sure, there are troubles in marriage. Being a single dude, I can’t speak of those with much authority if at all. But, I know God has ordained marriage. Its worth dying for to make it work.

Do not give up on each other.

Ever.

“Ascentus mentis ad Deum”

Sloppy Knots

Gosh, life is hard.

Life requires a fight.

Let me rephrase that:

If you want to get anywhere in life, you have to fight.

Being lazy is easy

It is

At first

You see let me walk you through something here:

As some of you know lately I have been training on a volunteer Search and Rescue team here in Toccoa. Its a lot of fun. To do a typical rescue requires a lot of work. Let me lay down some basics.

You first have to carry all the equipment to the site and being that we are SAR its not an ideal location for lugging 60-80 lbs of rope, too many carabiners to count, a basket, and many other things that are really heavy.

Then, you have to pick the best spot to tie the ropes, then you have to tie the ropes, with the right knots, using the right type of rope and so on. You then have to attach the gear, in the right way, and the right order.

You then do the rescue.

Put the person in the basket, who is usually hurt, unconscious, not responding.

Pull the person up the rock face in the basket.

Carry the person back to safety in the basket. All the while the person is writhing in pain, vomiting over me.

There is NO room for error.

Sure, I could sloppily tie the knots to make it easy on me. It would be quicker. I could not rappel down and pick up a 180 lb. man and put him in the basket, I mean, thats heavy. I could just tie him to the rope right?

Ok

Enough, are you getting the point?

Being lazy is always harder than doing the hard work upfront. To not tie the rope right affects other people.

“The Kingdom of God is forcefully advancing…”

There is no room for lazy people in the Kingdom of God.

Period.

So, to you suffering in the midst of trial, in the midst of difficulty.

Welcome to the Kingdom.

Keep your head up, keep fighting.

“For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison” - 2^nd Corinthians 4:17

Do not give up.

I promise, He sees you.

There is a work going on inside of you that is unseen now,

but it will come to light,

and when it does,

the troubles you have faced will be worth it.

It doesn’t seem like it

The light at the end of the tunnel has been snuffed out, you are burned out.

I know what you're thinking

"I'm walking through hell,"

You are.

I tell you though, keep fighting.

There is a light.

Each new day brings you closer.

I promise

2^nd Corinthians 6:4-10

“We put no stumbling block in anyone's path,

so that our ministry will not be discredited.

Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way:

in great endurance;

in troubles,

hardships and distresses;

in beatings, imprisonments and riots;

in hard work,

sleepless nights and hunger;

in purity, understanding,

patience and kindness;

in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love;

in truthful speech and in the power of God;

with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left;

through glory and dishonor,

bad report and good report;

genuine,

yet regarded as impostors;

known,

yet regarded as unknown;

dying, and yet we live on;

beaten,

and yet not killed;

sorrowful,

yet always rejoicing;

poor,

yet making many rich;

having nothing,

and yet possessing everything.”

Do not give up.

Don’t sloppily tie knots

Its not worth it.

Its worth it to fight.

So fight.

Forcefully advance the Kingdom.

So, tonight I went road biking. It was by far one of the hardest rides I have gone on. Maybe thats because I am not in the shape I used to be in. The point of this story is not how bad I am at road biking. But rather what happened afterwards. I went over to some friends house to hang out. Not everyone was there, but there were some good friends there and we were talking.

Life

Growing up

Friends

What were gonna do when we graduate (9 mos. and counting)

Illnesses

Family

Homeschooling or not homeschooling our future children. haha

Ministry

I was driving home and thinking. This is the way it was supposed to be. Im actually reminded of the show Friends where they just sat down in Central Perk, "their coffee shop" and just talked, laughed, and cried. It kinda felt like that.

You see life was never meant to be absent of friends. Life is supposed to have friends.

This next year is going to be one for the record books. It really will be. I can not wait to see what happens this year. Its gonna be good.

stay tuned.

God's Will or bust?

Yesterday, the beginning of one of my dreams since I was little started to come to life. Its not there yet, but it is in the process of it.

I started training for a volunteer Search and Rescue team in Habersham County.

Its not important how I got to do this, if you really want to know, then let me know and I can tell you. But, what the neat thing is, is the fact that this has always been kind of one of my dreams to do. I love being outside, climbing, and helping people and I have always thought to combine these would be so stinkin awesome.

And, I have come to find out that it is.

What's neat, is I am still able to be committed to all my ministry and school endeavors while doing this, which is primetime awesomeness.

When the opportunity presented itself, I was kinda hesitant, because I was not sure whether or not I should do it, because I am not that great of a climber, and I am not a very strong kind of person, so to be honest, I was bit intimidated and almost did not do it. I am so glad that I did. The moment came, I saw it, and I seized it, despite my nervousness or uncertainty of my ability to do it well.

I have got quite a bit of training ahead of me, but I am so stoked about that future training. I can not wait for it.

This summer has been one of reaping fruit from seized moments. Some fun and awesome, others not so fun and awesome, but rather difficult and tough.

Sometimes seizing a moment isn't always what you want it to be but rather, something you know is right. That you know is for the good. Ya know? You see it is so easy to seize a moment when it is good for you and of course its God's will. But the moment that you need to seize a moment and its not so fun, it makes you uncomfortable, and you question it, it can't be God's will. Right? I mean I think that all the time. Basically what I am saying is this:

It is easy to pray for God's will when you want his will, but when you dont want his will for that time in your life, its not so easy to pray for it.

Its a tough thing to live out.

God's will or bust.

Its so easy to pray for God's will, but when it comes time to live out His will for my life, its sooo stinking hard. Sometimes, so hard that I convince myself that it is not God's will.

Difficulty does not equal an absence of God.

But, there is sweet times ahead. For instance, I am trying to get a college ministry going up in Toccoa, GA at this awesome church Foothills Community Church. Its so weird to be away from 12Stone but I know that I am growing SO much as a result. I really miss home, but being away from home has a way of teaching me that I can not describe. I am learning through the hard, fun, and sad.

This college ministry excites me so much. God has his hand over it, some of the things that are happening already are just indicators of God's favor of this. He is putting together a team of people that are just incredible.

No one is doing this well in Toccoa.

No one.

We hope to change that.

Again, ministry has always been my number one dream in life, and whether I am just here for the summer to get this thing launched or what, I do not regret this summer one bit. Hopefully God will do something through this, and I alread know he has done a ton in my own life as a result of it.

So, in the midst of seizing moments we find God's heart for our lives.

Keep Trekking

Little Boy Running

I was running again today. Something really neat happened.
I was running at a park where there is a 2.2 mile loop and I was just starting on the second loop. I had run past this dad and his son fishing on the first loop and as I was on the second loop I was passing them because I was running, and the son had to be no older than four. As I ran past them, I heard these little footsteps quicken and I realized that this little boy was running behind me, trying to keep up. He was so cute.
I am not gonna lie. It was an awesome moment.
I slowed down and let him run with me for a bit.
All I could do was just smile.
He eventually slowed down
smiled
and went back to his dad.
I am not going to try to come up with some spiritual metaphor for this.
I could try though.
All I want to say. Is this:
Don’t forget to enjoy life every once in a while.
Don’t be afraid to run after something even if you can not keep up.
Thats all.

Run

I have forgotten lately how much I love running in my life. Running is the one avenue that I think God speaks to me the most. Some very key moments of clarity have come to my attention in the midst of a run whether it was 3, 6, or 13 miles long. God has used running in my life to show me very important things about myself in a way nothing else has.
All that to say, I was running today at Little Mulberry park, and a lot of thoughts just started streaming into my head about life and about where I have been these past months spiritually on this trek through the desert and what God has been teaching me. Like usual, my ideas are rather random, and jumbled together in the midst of ramblings. So here are a couple thoughts that have been in my head.
Being an avid runner, I am convinced that God gave us legs to run, so that through running we may have metaphors for our walk/run with Him.
If you run, you know the terms of “hitting a wall” “runner’s high” and so on. Just like in Christianity there are those cliches as well. 
 We all know what its like to “hit a wall” spiritually.
Where it seems like prayers are hitting the ceiling and then bouncing right back down to hit you in the face. That is not an unknown feeling to most.
Then on the flip-side we know what its like to have a “spiritual high”
There are those times where everything is going right, where you just wake up and things are just right.
The reason behind this is because as Christians, at our core, is a runner. (maybe not physically for some…)
God has created us to run.
God has created us to endure.
Now I say all of that to come right back to my run today. I was running and was on the other side of the lake and I heard rain coming and then it just started moving across the lake ever so swiftly right to where I was running. Now I was at mile 1.2 on a 4.4 mile run.
And it was a hard rain for about 5 minutes. Not quite pouring, but hard enough to where it was not that much fun.
The easy thing to do was turn around and finish my run with 2.4 miles. But I came for 4.4 and I was not going to give up. To a runner, what matters is not the conditions in which he runs in but rather that he continues. The runner knows the results that are necesarry for training and refuses to cut short the training despite the temptation of an easy run.
Again, this can all be translated to Christianity, to following Jesus. Christianity is never a guarantee of rain free runs. Our God is a wild God, and with a wild God comes wild weather, in which there is sunshine and rain. What matters is not the condition but the ability to continue.
Well as many of you know and some of you don’t. My life these past two months have been an all out sprint in the rain.
Sideways rain.
I have not given up. In fact, I have never felt so strongly about where I am and what I am doing. I am for once in the past two months or so, incredibly happy.
Now, there was a time where I stopped to think about whether I should continue or not.
I Wanted to give up. In fact, I came VERY close to giving up.
I am not going to lie.
If it weren’t for key people in my life I would have.
But, instead I saw the goal, I saw where God was leading me. I stood up, put my head down, and continued the run.
Again, its not the conditions that matter, but rather the ability to continue.
I am certainly not saying this to say how awesome and spiritual I am.
I am so far from that.
I can be so immature, and so unwise, but God has made me to run,
And so I do.
And, I am still running you know.
I can’t give up.
I am not going to give up.
Because at my core is a runner.
My heart beats to the steps that I take in accordance to God’s will for my life.
So, friend, may you run. Rejoice in the sunny runs, and continue in the rainy runs.
God is with you.
No matter what, continue.



“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
-Philippians 3:12-14

The Heart of Paul a Desert Trekker

So, I dont know why, but I have been stuck on this desert theme of Spirituality and God has really been showing me a whole lot about it lately. Essentially, all the big Bible characters I guess you could say learned how to walk through the desert. Just think about it.

David
Paul
Abraham
Moses (literally)
Joseph
Etc...

I was reading in Romans and 2nd Corinthians this morning and I was just blown away by the fact, that God puts us through the desert so that we may be stronger.
So that we may trust him more. Here is what I read this morning in Romans 5:

" Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
-Romans 5:3-5

Do you see that trend of development within the person there? Check it.

Ok so as we walk through the desert/suffering whatever you wanna call it. There is a point where what we believe and what we have trusted in for sustenance fails. Through this failure we learn how to persevere in order to get to a point where we can eat and drink (metaphorically of course). It is through this perseverance that we develop our key character traits. Like, are you one to give up easy when things get tough? Or are you the one who takes charge and doesnt let the desert own you, but rather you owning the desert. And once a person starts to get tough in the desert, there is a hope that develops, a hope that the person knows that a desert does not go on forever, there is a horizon, and there is an oasis on the horizon.

If anyone, Paul is the one that can speak the most truth to this. Check out 2nd Corinthians:

"We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way; in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine yet regarded as impostors; known yet regarded as unknown; dying and yet we live on; beaten and not yet killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor yet making many rich; aving nothing and yet possessing everything."
-2nd Corinthians 6:3-10

This is a description of his ministry as a missionary. Its crazy. He knew what it was to be in the desert. He knew what it was to have hope in the midst of uncertainty. In the midst of the desert. And yet he had hope in Christ.

So, may you, the desert trekker keep on trekking. Know that there is an oasis on the horizon. Do not give up. God is doing big things in you. Embrace it.

The Heart of Jonathan A Desert Trekker

So, This past month or so I have done the most writing I have ever done in my entire life. I have always enjoyed writing, but never really enjoyed sharing as you can tell by the 9 or so posts in the past two years... Ha.

This past month, has just been a doozie. I have never felt so close to God, yet so far away. If you understand, you have been where I have been before, but if not, just wait. Your time will come.

This is something I wrote. kind of like a poem thing, I dont know, I am no english major. Its from 1st Samuel 14, if you have had a conversation with me about spiritual things I am sure this passage has come up before... I would read it, and if you have not read it, I would HIGHLY encourage it before you read what I wrote, it will be much more rewarding. I think. So, here it is. I hope you enjoy it.


I find the weight of a looming risk
Weighing down on me
A stampeding stomach
Makes me think
"Should I really do this?"
A heavy heart
Tells me
"This is crazy"
What if this doesn't work?
This could ruin everything
What if it does work though?
This could fix everything
Bozez and Seneh
Stand before me
Beckoning me
To climb
An army on top awaits me
Like I said before
"This is crazy"
But, I will never know if I don't go
I'll be in stuck in the land of
What if?
Where dreams
Aspirations
And hope
Die.
I must do this
This
A necesarry risk.

So, continue trekking, you desert trekker. Do not give up. But yet continue. For in the heart of continue you find God.

Desert Trekker.

The past couple days have been rough. I am not going to lie. In the past month, month and a half or so I have been praying that God would bend me, that He would make me into the man that I am made to be. I have just recently realized the danger in praying that. The risk.

Everything has been turned inside out in my life. I have been placed in the desert. To face everything that I am scared of.

I feel that God is teaching me something big.

I am not writing this for pity. I am not writing this to show you that I am a "spiritual guy." I am so not there.

I am writing this to tell you, that I am not afraid of the desert. That if you find yourself in the desert that you should not give up and think life is a constant oasis. Because that is far from the truth. Oasis' exist in the midst of the desert to give you rest for the next trek through the desert. 2nd Corinthians 1:6 says, "If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer." This is why i write this.

I was sitting in class on Monday, not paying attention, there was a lot on my mind. I pulled out my computer and typed this up. I hope it gives you hope as well as it did for me. maybe a bit of encouragement that though you are in the desert that you may have hope in that which God has called you to. That you might be a desert trekker.

When a man walks out of the desert.
He comes out a better
Stronger
More dangerous
Noble
Loving
Man.

For he has faced trouble.
For he has faced himself.
For he has faced discouragement.
For he has faced loneliness.
For he has faced sleepless nights.
For he has faced hunger.
For he has faced the enemy.
For he has faced doubt.

And came out on top of these things.

Its in the desert where what he believes
Is tested.
Its in the desert where he finds out
Who he believes in.
Himself?
Or Him?

He does not trust in his bow.
Not that he doesn’t use his bow.
His sword does not bring him victory.
But it is in God that His victory is found.
He boasts in God alone
For He is with him in the desert.

He does not confuse Desert
with desertion
He knows that God is with Him.

So, you the desert trekker. May you continue. Have hope that God has counted you worthy to make this trek through the desert. You will come out stronger. Continue.

Do not give up.

Do not.

Keep trekking.